Wayside Pulpit

Pages

  • About the Author
  • About the Wayside
  • Contact

Wayside Reads

  • Gerard Loughlin: Alien Sex: The Body and Desire in Cinema and Theology (Challenges in Contemporary Theology)

    Gerard Loughlin: Alien Sex: The Body and Desire in Cinema and Theology (Challenges in Contemporary Theology)

  • Sandra M. Schneiders: Prophets in Their Own Country: Women Religious Bearing Witness to the Gospel in a Troubled Church

    Sandra M. Schneiders: Prophets in Their Own Country: Women Religious Bearing Witness to the Gospel in a Troubled Church

  • Jerome P. Baggett: Sense of the Faithful: How American Catholics Live Their Faith

    Jerome P. Baggett: Sense of the Faithful: How American Catholics Live Their Faith

  • Bell Hooks: Teaching to Transgress: Education as the Practice of Freedom

    Bell Hooks: Teaching to Transgress: Education as the Practice of Freedom

  • Suzanne Collins: The Hunger Games

    Suzanne Collins: The Hunger Games

Wayside Links

  • A Sister of St. Joseph Blog
  • The Progressive Catholic Voice
  • Kisha Montgomery

A Well Flown Life

My daughter and I recently found a butterfly slowly flapping next to newly planted tomatoes. The creature was something beyond lovely. It was a good seven inches wide and about as half as long. Stripes of yellow and black, as well as bright blue “eyes,” were painted on its wings. My daughter asked, “When will it fly?” I wondered the same question for about an hour and then realized it wasn’t in the backyard to fly, rather it had landed to die.

My realization gave me pause, like all deaths do, about the short time life provides for living. I thought about the days it must have flown, flower to flower, doing what butterflies do. It didn’t know the end was coming, it just arrived there in manicured lawn suburbia. It choked me up a bit, even though death and I have become quite comfortable in my hospital chaplaincy career. My daughter said, “I’m sad it has to die.” I replied, “Yes, so am I, but I’m glad we are here so it doesn’t have to be alone.”

We checked on the butterfly for the rest of the afternoon, making small comments on how much it had moved or hadn’t moved. By the time the clock had set the sun, death was done. The color of its wings had changed to a muted yellow and the flashy blue of the painted eyes was a flat grey. The next morning the body was gone, mostly likely drug away by a neighborhood cat or the like. A fitting end, I suppose, for a well flown life.

March 27, 2007 in Divine Living, Health/Healing | Permalink

Endings

One of the many things I am drawn to in Zen is the focus on process rather than content. I can spend lots of time talking about content, about how this person drives me crazy or how my organic avocados always seem to be rotten inside. Yes, I can talk about these and many more pieces of content, instead of talking about the process of my irritation, or the process of my disappointment.

Yet, I wonder if process is as easy to make entertaining as content. How could the process of good and evil be as captivating as the content of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy? How can I tell you a story about a major event in my life without the content? Would you still be able to relate?

In early spring of last year I made a choice. I had many choices, but I choose one, because there was only one of me. The choice was for the next step, the next adventure, the next learning experience. The choice was hard. I cried about it. I prayed about it. I worried about it. However, I finally made it. It took fits and starts; choosing one thing and then choosing another. Finally the mental trappings of conditioning let me go enough to say, “Yes, this is what I choose.”

The choice led me down a path that, after four months, I realized was a path I did not want to travel. Yet, this realization did not come slowly, it came quickly, in the matter of just an hour.

See, I had been walking down a hall for months, watching the floor; my one foot in front of the other. Then it happened, my right shoe hit a wall, then the left. I looked up and all I could think was, “There shouldn’t be a wall here.” I stood there for almost a month, angry and confused about the wall. I railed against the surface that had stopped me. I asked experts about it. I cried about the wall. I prayed about the wall. I worried about the wall. Then one night, I realized that the wall didn’t matter. It wasn’t bad. It wasn’t good. It was just a wall. The question then moved from the wall directly to me and my two feet pressed against it. Do I stay or do I go? I left.

Currently, the marketing arm of the United Church of Christ relies heavily on Gracie Allen’s phrase of, “Never place a period where God has placed a comma.” Yet, there are the times when God places a period and the sentence is finished.

January 21, 2007 in Divine Living, God, Zen | Permalink

To Be

Last night I came across an ad for, “Age of Empires III.” Empires III, at its most simplest, is a real time strategy game where players create battles with empires in order to win the world. It looks interesting.

I haven’t played either Age of Empires II or Age of Empires I, but I’m intrigued nonetheless. As I read the internet glossy of the game I remembered a time when I enjoyed playing computer games. Playing games was fun, it was interesting; something that captured my motivation. I would stay up hours into the night playing games that, compared to the technology available now, were quite unrealistic and rather simple.

Something has changed for me as I’ve gotten older. I’ve forgotten how to play and enjoy things for the sake of enjoyment. I don’t know how to just be, to just relish the moment. I am noticing that for my life to have meaning, for my existence to matter, I have to be producing something or being something. I do not know how to relax. I do not know how to simply live.

I don’t think that the inability to be without being is only my experience. It is a conditioned response, something that is learned in this middle America culture of mine. I watch myself “teaching” my daughter to be productive, to learn, to study, to make something of herself. The desire to strive, to become something “great” is not something I asked for, but it is something that I have been given. My choice now is what to do with it.

In terms of Zen, I simply watch, notice, then say, “Isn’t that interesting.” Here I am, this capable and talented woman and I only believe that I am living the life I have been given if I produce, or work or create. Then after I notice, I must laugh, because socialization is my own worse enemy. How humorous is it that I must do something different than just live to be worthy of my life?

In terms of Christianity I cannot help but think of Jesus’ idea that, “the kingdom of God is now.” It isn’t in getting water from the well, it is talking to the woman leaning against it about living water. It isn’t answering the call to throw oneself from the steeple, but to wait the desire out. Christianity teaches me that the space between the halves of broken bread is where life is found.

How to turn these theological musings into action? This is always the question isn’t it? For any of us that walk this road of spiritual exploration we must find out how to move the notions of our heads into our hearts and bodies. I think I am going to buy Age of Empires III and learn how to play again. I am going to waste time by all social standards and watch the kingdom of God unfold.

January 20, 2007 in Christianity, Divine Living, Zen | Permalink

Meaning of Work

"Lucas E. Nikkel, a Dartmouth graduate, wants to be a doctor, but for now he is teaching eighth-grade chemistry at a middle school in North Carolina, one of nearly 2,200 new members of Teach for America.

I'm looking at medical school, and everybody says taking time off first is a good idea," he said. "I think I'm like a lot of people who know they want to do something meaningful before they start their careers." (NY Times)

Yes, let us do something meaningful BEFORE we start our careers, which, appear, in this context to be non-meaningful. Such a shame we'll spend most of our lives in our careers - most of our days doing non-meaningful work.

What a change it would be if careers were undertaken because they were "meaningful," rather than for all the other reasons they are undertaken

October 03, 2005 in Divine Living | Permalink

« Previous

Recent Posts

  • Authentic Giving
  • The Advent of Nothing
  • Women Religious
  • A Broken House
  • I am
  • Not to stand alone
  • The Closet Door
  • Time Off
  • Stories of the story
  • Knowing Jesus?

Categories

  • Art
  • Bible
  • Capitalism
  • Christ
  • Christianity
  • Creativity
  • Current Affairs
  • Death
  • Divine Living
  • Exegesis
  • God
  • Health/Healing
  • Identity
  • Interfaith
  • Jesus
  • Joseph
  • Mary
  • Music
  • Poetry
  • Presence
  • Racism
  • Religion
  • Roman Catholicism
  • Sacraments
  • Soul
  • Spirituality
  • Unity
  • Weblogs
  • Women Religious
  • Zen

Creative Commons


  • Creative Commons License
    This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 License.